On Being a Digital Bawse

Bawse is a human being who exudes confidence, turns heads, reaches goals, finds inner strenght, gets hurt efficiently and smiles genuinely- because they’ve fought through it all and made it out the other side. The double-handed praise was created for them. In a bawse world there are no escalators, there are only stairs.

I am not there … YET.

I can see where I am going.

November Notes

Parsimony is the surest path to wealth.

The 50/30/20 rule budget is a simple way to budget. You spend 50% of your after-tax pay on needs, 30% on wants, and 20% on savings.

Your principles are no good if they don’t get exercised.

Time is one commodity that we can’t hoard for another day. We can’t control the rate of the spend of time, we can only control how we spend it. 

Be more intentional about doing something to improve yourself every day.

Photo by Robin Sallie taken at the Saad home in Wilmington, Delaware on Saturday, November 27, 2021.

“Every day is player development day.” — Dr. Ron Sen

“15 minutes a day, every day makes a habit for change. You build a momentum, and that can carry over to other activities. Suddenly, you look at things like scrolling through social media, or mindlessly watching TV with a new critical eye.” – Mary Stevens

“15 minutes is attainable today, and when repeated over time momentum and a significant amount of change can happen. It isn’t magic, just intentional effort, repeated day after day.” – Mary Stevens

You are worth 15 minutes every day. Seize that time to do something for yourself, that isn’t being selfish, you are building a new you.

What methods do you use to generate high-quality conversations?

The benefits of feeling and expressing gratitude are that you savor positive experiences, become more resilient in the face of stress, improve your physical and mental health and increase the self-worth of others.

Michael Phelps trains in the dark. When his goggles failed at key event, he soldiered on, because not seeing is his default state.

Have an opinion and take a stand. This is more difficult than it seems because it means you need to know enough and be committed to your opinion.

Do not pass your business cards out with absolutely no conversation. You have to make a connections for your card to mean anything.

Quality always lasts and retains value. A little bit of a good thing is better than a lot of rubbish.

Use headlines to catch the attention of anyone that reads it, draw them in to read the first sentence of your story.

People are more willing to share their professional and personal experiences when the other party understands their background.

Businesses need to genuinely integrate gender equality into their company values and culture.

Biases are not easy to break.

People on the spectrum, of which there are many among us, get overstimulated by socializing. It’s not enough to want to be able to do it. Prioritizing won’t change their brain. Tim Merrick

ambivert /ˈambəˌvərt/ a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features.

in·ter·sti·tial /ˌin(t)ərˈstiSHəl/ of, forming, or occupying interstices. pertaining to or situated in an interstice, ECOLOGY. (of minute animals) living in the spaces between individual sand grains in the soil or aquatic sediments. 1640s, from Latin interstitium “interval”

in·ter·stice /inˈtərstəs/. noun an intervening space, especially a very small one.

“I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.” ― Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis

Coaching is not psychotherapy or counseling. One of the most obvious differences is that therapy tends to focus on feelings and experiences related to past events, whereas coaching is oriented towards goal setting and encourages the client to move forward. A coach works with a functional person to get them to become exceptional. A coach works with people who are already emotionally healthy to move them to magnificent levels. Coaching does not rely on past issues for achieving growth, but rather focuses on goals towards the future. Coaching is action oriented. The focus is on where the client is right now, where they want to be next, and how to get them there.

“Any idiot with a whistle can coach.” – Anonymous Parental Rant

“Being good at leaving is a success accelerator. Leaving jobs, leaving relationships, leaving the room, leaving conversations.” Sekai Farai @SekaiFarai

What is your winning plan? Can an impartial observer identify it?

Each of us has different values and priorities. The notes above — collected by Dr. Ron Sen —come from Malala Yousafzai’s MasterClass on advocacy. She finds them vital to pursuing her mission of promoting education for girls.

“A lot of people say they want to be great, but they’re not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve greatness. They have other concerns, whether important or not, and they spread themselves out. That’s totally fine. After all, greatness is not for everybody.” — Kobe Bryant

“There is no one out there, no actor on the stage of society, who can or will bring about the radical transformation required to save humanity and the world – no one that is except We the People. There is no one else who will do it for us, and it is a job that must be done.” – Richard Moore, Escaping the Matrix

You are worth so much more than your productivity.

Redlining was part of a series of racist policies instituted in federal and local government agencies that trapped Black and brown people in low-income neighborhoods.

The Home Owners’ Loan Corporation (HOLC) and Federal Housing Administration (FHA) created color-coded maps that assigned “mortgage security” grades to residential neighborhoods. These maps, which determined who received mortgages, identified predominantly Black and immigrant neighborhoods as red or “hazardous,” preventing homeownership and creating lasting disinvestment in neighborhoods of color (Mapping Inequality). 

The legacy of redlining continues to play a significant role in the racial inequality in housing, the lack of generational wealth and class mobility, and the overall quality of life for Black people (Teen Vogue).

An independent press is critical to democracy.

Health is wealth.

One of the great myths of our culture of toxic productivity is that working more always leads to a better result.

Play more, work less. Fewer expenses, less income. It’s all about balance.

Aesthetic of work: if you make something that forces people to acknowledge how much time and effort it took to create, they would inherently prescribe greater value to it.

Notes on the Lincoln Highway

The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles

I read this book as a Rivers Faculty & Staff book club assignment. These are my notes.

The Lincoln Highway, a Great American Road Novel by Amor Towles — three 18-year-olds who met in a juvenile reformatory, plus a inquisitive, abnormally smart 8-year-old — journey from Nebraska to New York City in an old Studebaker and is set in 1950’s America. This is a period of peace, prosperity, and upward mobility in the US; a period in which television was in its infancy, and which came just before the advents of rock & roll, the modern civil rights movement, and the “sexual revolution”.

Emmett Watson is driven home to Nebraska in June 1954 by the warden of the juvenile work farm where he has just served fifteen months for involuntary manslaughter.

His mother gone for eight years, his father recently deceased, and the family farm foreclosed upon by the bank, Emmett’s intention is to pick up his little brother, Billy, and head to California where they can start their lives anew.

But when the warden drives away, Emmett discovers that two friends from the work farm have hidden themselves in the trunk of the warden’s car. Together, they have hatched an altogether different plan for Emmett’s future, one that will take them all on a fateful journey in the opposite direction—to the City of New York.

Spanning just ten days and told from multiple points of view, the novel provides an array of new and richly imagined settings, characters, and themes. Each character is the central protagonist of their own ongoing adventure that is both unique and universal. Nothing goes as Emmett intended, but novels wouldn’t be novels if everything went as planned.

The book is about the act of storytelling and mythmaking and probes questions about how to structure a narrative and where to start; its chapters count down from Ten to One as they build to a climax. Spine of the novel is Billy’s obsession with a big red alphabetical “compendium” of 26 heroes and adventurers — both mythical and real — from Achilles to Zorro, though the letter Y is left blank for You (the reader) to record your own quest.

Bil·dungs·ro·man /ˈbildo͝oNGzrōˌmän/ a novel dealing with one person’s formative years or spiritual education.

Well, that’s life in a nutshell, ain’t it? Lovin’ to go to one place and havin’ to go to another.” — The panhandler

Eris (/ˈɪərɪs, ˈɛrɪs/; Greek: Ἔρις Éris, “Strife”) is the Greek goddess of strife and discord.

in medias res — in the middle of the thing

600 pages only covers 10 days.

pa·nache /pəˈnaSH,pəˈnäSH/ flamboyant confidence of style or manner or (HISTORICAL) a tuft or plume of feathers, especially as a headdress or on a helmet. From Latin pinna: feather

chantoosie (plural chantoosies) (Canada) A woman employed to sing in a nightclub.

The Lincoln Highway is 3.390 miles long, and it’s the U.S.’s very first cross-country highway. The west end is Lincoln Park in San Francisco, CA. East end is Times Square in New York, NY.

Making a fresh start isn’t just a matter of having a new address in a new town. It isn’t a matter of having a new job, or a new phone number, or even a new name. A fresh start requires the cleaning of the slate. And that means paying off all that you owe, and collecting all that you’re due. — Duchess

Because young children don’t know how things are supposed to be done, they will come to imagine that the habits of their household are the habits of the world. If a child grows up in a family where angry words are exchanged over supper, he will assume that angry words are exchanged at every kitchen table; while if a child grows up in a family where no words are exchanged over supper at all, he will assume that all families eat in silence. —Emmett

haus·frau /ˈhousˌfrou/ noun a German housewife. INFORMALa woman regarded as overly domesticated or efficient.

Emmett was raised to hold no man in disdain. To hold another man in disdain, his father would say, presumed that you knew so much about his lot, so much about his intentions, about his actions both public and private that you could rank his character against your own without fear of misjudgment.

In Greek mythology, Spartoi (also Sparti or Spartae) (Ancient Greek: Σπαρτοί, literal translation: “sown [men]“, from σπείρω, speírō, “to sow”) are a mythical people who sprang up from the dragon’s teeth sown by Cadmus and were believed to be the ancestors of the Theban nobility.

The Spartoi is a legendary warrior sown and grown from a set of Dragon’s teeth. The dragon was a pet of Aries, the Greek God of War, and when sown into the group, these teeth, known as the Spartoi Seed, grew into a full grown warrior known as the Spartoi.

Wasn’t it hard enough in the course of life to distinguish between fact and fancy, between what one witnessed and what one wanted? — Emmett

in·ter·stice /inˈtərstəs /noun an intervening space, especially a very small one.

The City of New York is a thousand cities rolled into one.

Woolly’s sister, Sarah, observes to Emmett: “If you take a trait that by all appearances is a merit—a trait that is praised by pastors and poets, a trait that we have come to admire in our friends and hope to foster in our children—and you give it to some poor soul in abundance, it will almost certainly prove an obstacle to their happiness.”

$50,000 then equals $500,000 now.

pos·it. /ˈpäzət/ past tense: posited; past participle: posited. assume as a fact; put forward as a basis of argument. put in position; place. to dispose or set firmly : fix. to assume or affirm the existence of : postulate. to propose as an explanation : suggest.

postulate /ˈpäsCHəˌlāt/. suggest or assume the existence, fact, or truth of (something) as a basis for reasoning, discussion, or belief. (in ecclesiastical law) nominate or elect (someone) to an ecclesiastical office subject to the sanction of a higher authority. noun FORMAL /ˈpäsCHələt/ a thing suggested or assumed as true as the basis for reasoning, discussion, or belief. put in position; place.

Remembering vs rememorizing — Woolly

raff·ish /ˈrafiSH/ adjective unconventional and slightly disreputable, especially in an attractive manner.

deign/dān/ do something that one considers to be beneath one’s dignity. ARCHAIC condescend to give

…the troubling theory Schrödinger’s cat. In this theory, a physicist named Schrödinger had posited … that there was a cat with some poison in a box in a state of benign uncertainty. But once you opened the box, then the cat would either be purring or poisoned. So it was with a touch of caution that any man should venture to open a box, even if it was one that had his name on it. Or perhaps, especially if it had his name on it. —Woolly

visage to visage face to face

…“everything of value in this life must be earned.” — Ulysses

gyre /ˈjī(ə)r/ verb LITERARY whirl or gyrate. noun a spiral or vortex.

“When it comes to waiting, has-beens have had plenty of practice.” And, there’s “that’s what has-beens do: They wait.” I believe that Towles is making a bigger point about people being the authors of their misfortune by waiting for good things to happen as opposed to doing.

From a Forbes review by John Tammy: “Towles writes Emmett, Duchess and Woolly as though their work-camp misfortune was all the doing of others. Such is the prerogative of fiction novelists, they get to shape the characters in the way they like, but his drawing of them deprived Highway of believability. Realistically there’s no story if Emmett’s a really bad person who had purposely killed someone, but seemingly no one in Highway is at fault at which point we should all be so lucky to be sent off to a work camp filled with such interesting, articulate, and (in Woolly’s case) well-bred inmates. Everyone in Highway is abnormally perceptive, well read, and talented, including those at Salina.”

Are Emmett, Duchess, and Woolly victims of simple bad luck?

I hated the ending. The characters are unrealistic. And I was not expecting so many people to die by murder and suicide. None of the violence was graphic. I still recommend the book. It is an easy read with plenty of cliffhanger chapter endings.